You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
