I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
