Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
