What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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