She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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