i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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