Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
