I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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