Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
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i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize