Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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