I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
