if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
