I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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