C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
as a side note pls kill me
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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