I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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