i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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