We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
