smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
