Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
