So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
