I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
