I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
