i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Enjoy the penises
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
