Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
