think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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