Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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