There was a lot of him and a little penis
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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