That's intense
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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