I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
There are leaves in my underwear?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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