I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
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no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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