I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize