I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
