We're like a lot better than the average bears
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
