i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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