as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
