You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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