i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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