my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
