Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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