Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My balls are so social today.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
A+ Viking dick
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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