Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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