just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I want to have your abortion
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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