I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
