ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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