what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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