he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
