if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
