Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
