I just saw a hot homeless man
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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