I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He shit in the fireplace
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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