He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
