Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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