dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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