why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
