i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
