hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
