I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
