Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
