Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
